ASU, Fashion, Insightful, Movies

Snowboots: A brief history in fashion and society

There once was a time when specific footwear served a very specific purpose.  Even as little as a few years back I lived in such a world where I thought snowboots existed only in realms deemed applicable to such conditions that would necessitate a thick fur boot, ostensibly places like Alaska, or Antarctica, you know, those artic temperate zones.  Unfortunately, in my naivety, I learned that humanity doesn’t harbor the pragmatism I once thought it did.
 
The Origins:
 
 I decided to dig back and find where the novel idea of a snow boot originated.  I immediately found that the Inuits, in their ingenuety and craft, designed a caribu skin boot for hunting in the snow.  The warm, thick fur, provided ample protection from the harsh elements.  They called them Kamiks.  Genius!  Given the time period of the nomadic people, we can estimate that Kamiks could date back as far as 1000 years – possibly further.  But that’s not what we’re interested in.
 
Modern Culture:
 
Like all things, it isn’t long before the Paris Hiltons, the Marlin Brandos and the Lisa Lopes get their hands on long-standing traditions that represent a culture of the past and utterly besmirch them.  The Fashionistas in Hollywood swiftly and deftly carried out an atrocity on par with The Reign Of Terror when they unleashed the fashionable snow boot to hordes of young women ready to tarnish the dignity of the Inuits and the Yupiks with smiles on their faces.  
 
 The Legacy: 
 
It probably began with movie stars, but now you can’t walk down the street in August without seeing 5,10, maybe even 100 pairs of snowboots on woman aged 13-58. 
 
 Look at this photo I found of Shelley Duvall sporting a modern form of the Snow boot in the 1980 Stanley Kubrick movie The Shining.  But I’m sure it reaches back farther than this.  That is why I am calling on you, nation, to send me your sightings of snowboots in pop-culture pre 1980’s.  We’re going to get to the bottom of this and see who is truly responsible for this ghastly and reprehensible act.

wendy torrance

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Food, Insightful, Religion

An Atheist’s Nightmare

Thursday, I found myself coming home late at night with quite the hungry tummy. I had been gone all day doing what I do and the sweet taste of spaghetti and meatballs lingered in my head. I looked at the clock; it read about 2 a.m. I thought to myself about how I could get myself some spaghetti. I knew Fazoli’s was closed as well as Olive Garden (but eating Olive Garden alone is just sad). I then wondered if my pantry contained any Spaghetti O’s. Though this is a poor subsitute, my options were slim. I got up from my computer chair and journeyed to the kitchen. Instead of going straight for the pantry, something told me I should check the refrigerator. I opened my fridge and what do I see? What amazing dish greets my looking balls? None other than a bowl of spaghetti. But not only just a bowl of spaghetti…but a bowl of spaghetti AND meatballs. What is the coincidence that the food I had been craving just happened to be the meal that my mom prepared that night. Also, what is the coincidence that there were leftovers? My answer, nonbelievers, is this: there is no coincidence. If you want something bad enough just pray and maybe you, too, will get your very own bowl of spaghetti with some added meatballs.

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Uncategorized

Wag of my finger

Mongo Pushing! Not only is it very aggravating, but it demonstrates a complete lack of grace.  Please, for everyone’s sake, stop looking like an ass.  Don’t know how to push the correct way?  Don’t worry, I’ve assembled a tutorial. 

  1.  Assess whether you are  regular or goofy.  In skateboard terms, this means what foot do you lead with.  Do which ever feels more comfortable.
  2. Make note: the foot you lead with will NOT be the foot you pump with.  This is crucial.
  3. So, using the deductive properties we can determine that we will be pushing with our back foot.  If you’re regular, that mean you’re right foot, goofy; left. 

Congratulations, you now are normal.  Notice your increased balance and how people won’t stare at you like you’re retarded.  Have a lovely day.

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